Wednesday, June 13, 2012

In the moment

I have recently been reading the book, One thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp. It was a little difficult to read due to the different writing style, but it has been full of lots of little nuggets of truth that have been helpful to me in my current state of life. I feel I am in a constant state of 'what's next, what has to get done, what can I sacrifice in order to be able to get to the next item on the list?' basic survival mode. Instead of focusing on the task in front of me, I find myself constantly looking ahead, trying to avoid the next crisis and survive the next day. Here is the problem with that: I am missing this current state of being in the present. I read a quote recently (I think from the book but not sure) that says, 'wherever you are, be all there'. I don't want to miss out on the current joys of life all the while just trying to survive. I have started changing my way of thinking, trying to focus on the here and now and wherever I am, being solely focused on that person or task. For example, when my daughter wants to read a book first thing in the morning, we read; when my husband tells me about his day, I listen without making a to-do list in my head; when I am at chemo with my mom, I try to spend time with her in quality conversation and listening to her needs, not just playing on my phone. For those of you who know me, know this is a challenge for me. I feel hat I always need to be productive, in control and taking care of everyone but sometimes taking care of everyone means just stoping and playing at the sand table with my daughter.
Psalm 39:6 says, 'we are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in NOTHING. We heap up wealth for someone else to spend.' Wow talk about an eye opener! So in the midst of the day to day, wherever I am I want to be all there!